Reality is Not Causing You to Suffer, Your Interpretation of it is.

Five years ago I was on a plane to Boston to meet my family.

I was reading a book which made me aware of my unconscious tendency to judge and label situations, and to then have my feelings/experience dictated by those judgments and labels.

When I got off the plane in Boston I headed to a nearby harbour where I was due to meet my cousins who were picking me up.

For a variety of reasons, they ended up being almost two hours late, and it rained almost the whole time.

Due to my new inner awareness that this book had elicited, I noticed my mind’s urges to curse the situation I was in (and to curse my cousins too).

My mind would start to say things like, “this is so shit, how could my cousins be so careless as to leave me in such a shitty situation. This fucking sucks”.

Without my new enhanced awareness, my mind would have (unconsciously) ran riot with such negativity, with me taking every word it said as truth.

But now, I was able to observe it for what it was - subjective judgments about the situation, not the actual reality of the situation itself.

The situation was what it was. It simply was. I was the one imposing negative judgments and labels onto it.

These judgments did not reflect the reality of the situation, just my own arbitrary egoic preferences and how they did not match the situation.

So instead of believing and further fuelling these thoughts, I was able to let them go.

I was able to accept the situation for what it was, and harbour no resentment towards anyone or anything for it.

I found peace in this acceptance, where usually I would have experienced resentment, anger or frustration.

Why is this important?

The majority of people spend most of their waking moments feeling anxious, frustrated, on edge, or mildly disturbed in some way, not quite being able to put their finger on why.

Yet, everyone wants internal peace.

It is one thing that everyone on this planet wants and seeks out, whether it’s consciously known to them or not.

Despite the fact that it’s a universal goal, very, very few people know how to attain it.

The fact is, it is easily attainable to anyone, at any given moment.

You too can learn the art of cultivating peace in any moment from within, regardless of the external circumstances.

How does it work?

Here is the problem: most people seek peace externally, which can never work.

They create conditions for peace. Conditions that almost never match their present moment reality.

Their peace depends on their outside world being a certain way.

They think things like “when I make this much money I’ll be happy”, “when I meet the right person I’ll be at peace”, “it would be so much better if it wasn’t raining” or “I wish this person wasn’t here, he’s ruining my night”.

Their peace is constantly defined by some imaginary, arbitrary external criteria.

 In other words, they are dependent on specific conditions to experience peace.

When their present moment reality does not match their criteria for peace, it is interpreted and labelled as wrong or bad. This becomes the lens through which they perceive their reality and they generate suffering for themselves as a result.

When you rely on external conditions being a certain way, you will never have lasting peace, as external conditions constantly change and are not controllable.

As a result you feel anxious, frustrated and hopeless.

So here’s the key: peace can only be found in the present moment, cultivated from within.

This is done by relinquishing judgments, expectations, and standards for how things “should be”, and embracing the moment as it is. After all, the moment already is, to resist it internally is insane, and is bound to cause unnecessary suffering.

You can learn the art of cultivating peace in any moment from within, regardless of the external circumstances.

How to practice the art of cultivating peace?

Every day, follow this 7 Step Path to Peace:

1. Remain mindful and aware of your inner state.

2. Observe the activity of your mind - see how it judges, labels, compares etc.

3. Catch it when it resists something through a negative judgment or label.

4. Remember that this judgment does not reflect the reality of that thing/situation, just your personal interpretation based on your arbitrary personal preferences.

5. Let go of the judgment.

6. Allow the thing/situation to be as it is and accept it.

7. Repeat

(IF the situation is genuinely detrimental to yourself or another, then take action to change it, but before action is taken the situation must be accepted as it is without resistance or judgment.)

So thats it; through mindful attention, peace is attainable at any moment.

It’s all about cultivating nonjudgmental awareness (meditation is a powerful technique for enhancing this type of awareness).

You have the power to do this. Through this practice, your peace is in your hands, and it is no longer a flimsy by-product of unreliable, uncontrollable external conditions.